Stop The Skaters

Have you ever had your house vandilized? Charged the young offender and been slapped with a defamation of character suit when "Daddy" the high priced attorney with serious connections stepped in to defend his little hoodlum's honor? It could happen to you! Or perhaps you were walking your dong along the path one quiet summer evening when C.J. and "Spanky-Nats" boarded by, showering you and your pet with a stickystream of sunflower seeds while cackling manically. It was all fun and games back in junior high, but what happens when skaters don't grow up?

I had the sad displeasure of watching little rascals as they waited for the second coming of ol' Cheech and Chang late tuesday night. The talk was all the same-"that was some crazy weed man"..."I was like yeah, so whatever, naaaaaa...f@#% man!" Like an old menonite schoolhouse at recess time, the "skater chicks" sat segragated from their "dreamy rebellious" male counterparts and caught up on the latest "pot-talk" as they watched the "tricks" from afar. An important fact to consider is that none of the skaters could actually preform...they were simply wanna-be skaters. "my mom buys my clothes at Randy River man!" That is just so cool! So there they were skatin' it up at the Brandon University Library. Which is extremely ironic, considering that only a small percenage of them will actually ever attend any institute of higher learning whatsoever.

Remember when being a "hippie" or a "punk" used to mean something? When it used to be based on political beliefs, protest and action. All tring to make the world a better place. Something respectable and almost noble has sorrowfully been lost in the passing generation. They're not punks. They're druggy teenagers with pierced body parts, colored hair, hangovers, skateboards and a serious identity crisis. Hoping your parents will get you out of trouble when your to blitzed to make it to your own bed. You're twentyone year old and you can't remember what you all destroyed the previous night, is just not acceptable. Buying eighty dollar jeans that make you look poor and wearing jewelry like a tail is really not thatcool either. I can certainly bet that none of them know that the infamous "skater-chain" was actually pioneered by manitoba farmers some fifteen years ago. But hey, when "Wack-Master B" does it, its gotta be cool right?

So why are they here? Is it bad parenting? Is this the new way of a crippled society? Is it a lack of role models and the fault of the media? Is it the result of human offspring from secret alien experiments? I don't know and i don't really care. I'm not gettin paid to figure it out or solve the problem. But they're annoying, rude, discusting, violent, pathetic and they shouldn't be holding thier "street raves" or whatever the hell they are, where students have paid alot of hard earned money are trying to sleep, study and expand thier educational and even spiritual basis. Most of us came to University to make something of our lives and get away from such a group of people. They should be in some youth detention center, or at least some kind of skater daycare (ie:high school). But at this point in thier lives they don't deserve to be here. It's not just irritating seniors and frightening young children anymore...the whole "skater-scene" is starting to get out of hand and alot of people are getting frustrated as they continue to drive custumers away from businesses and spit in the face of authority.

If you want to make your living as a freakshow on the MTV Olympics, that's your dream and choice. Hanging around and wrecking other people's lives and property with no respect for anyone, including yourself, is just not valid opinion anymore however. There are people that can help. Take some of your parents' money that you spend on buying weed most of the time and go see a psychiatrist. Just a word to the wise; you won't get alot of time for skateboarding where your headed, but you'll certainly get some of that attention you so maddly crave. A whole lot of it in fact, as its a place where they just can't resist immature little boys who never grow up, trapped inside of grown mens bodies. Do you know what that means? (It's not a trick question...take a break from that roach of yours and think about it for a good minute.) Good luck.